Such Horrible Things
by MailJeevasVGFTW
Summary: BB FANS UNITE! HAPPY HALLOWEEN! Oh! And Happy Birthday L!  Songfic


**Okay! Happy Halloween all you little bastards out there! Nah I'm kidding…I love you all!**

**Now I decided to do this as a Halloween special and for the fact that I'm being BB for Halloween! But I assure you that I am working on my other fics, just that school is being a bitch to me…lolz**

**Enjoy!**

**Listening: Such Horrible things by Creature Feature (Listen to it or don't, cuz it might spoil everything for you XD)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note or Creature Feature (DAMN)**

My life is a lot of things. Normal is not one of them. I could be considered evil, mean, or just plain horrible. And hell, I take pride in that. These special eyes of mine help me out too.

_Sit back now; let me tell you a tale, where justice does not prevail._

_About in ill-fated life, so very full of strife._

_Where two wrongs do not make a right._

_So!..._

Nobody remembers their birth right? Of course not, the brain isn't fully developed yet. Want to know the weird thing? Whenever I asked my parents what I was like as a baby, they would freak out. Avoid the question entirely. I mean, fuck, they were the ones who named me Beyond Birthday.

_When I was born, I did surely scorn my proud parent's name._

_Then their lives when down the drain._

_Drove them insane, my birth was a curse, I bit the nurse._

_Oh, but I love the worst._

My neighbors would constantly bitch to my parents about me, like I was the devil or something.

_I deserve to be slowly submersed,_

_Dried out then laid in a hearse._

After my second birthday, I was already able to walk, and was roaming around my house. My father was sitting in his chair, reading the newspaper. As I was roaming, I saw a bottle on the table. I walked over and grabbed it. It read, "Super glue." I looked at the bottle curiously. I decided to try it. I looked around for something to use it on. And my eyes locked onto something soft and fluffy. My father's hair.

Perfect.

I shuffled over to the chair and climbed up behind it. My father was unaware when I poured the gooey substance into his hair. I hopped off the chair and ran into the other room.

A few minutes later, I heard a cry of agony.

Needless to say, he didn't have much hair after that. But I remember one single thought that crossed my mind. _That was fun._

_When I was two, I poured super glue,_

_Into my father's hair, as he sat unaware_

_In his arm chair. _

_Much to his dismay had to cut it all away._

_Oh, but it felt great._

"He's evil! I know it! An evil child!"

My mother closed the door and sighed.

_I deserve to be cut and filleted,_

_And tossed about in disarray_

_Until the pieces melt away…_

My parents always tried to console me, saying that it wasn't my fault. That I was just a curious child.

Oh, boy…

_I am not a bad man, even though I do bad things_

_Very bad things_

_Such horrible things!_

_But, it's not quite what it seems (Not quite what he seems)_

_Not quite what I seem._

_Ah, hell…_

I am a devious little bastard.

_It's exactly what it seems!_

Two more years pass and now I'm four. I'm much more aware of my surroundings and can think more logically. Except for one thing. Where the fuck did the mail come from? It would fall through this little slot in the door and my mother would come to pick it up. I decided to run an experiment.

I ran over to the kitchen and saw the knife block. I hopped up onto the counter and grabbed a small knife. I hopped off and walked over to the door.

The time was 10:55 a.m. so the mail would be coming soon. Luckily my mother was watching television in the back room and my father was at work, so I could spare a few minutes.

When 11:00 rolled around, I heard footsteps approaching the door. I readied myself. I saw the little slot open and the mail fell through. I shoved the knife up through the slot with as much force as I had. I heard a screech of pain and I withdrew the knife.

It had blood on it. Well, I guess the mail came from a person. That answers my question. I ran back to the kitchen and threw the knife in the sink. I walked into the backroom and told my mother that I wanted some jam.

_When I was four, I'd wait by the door_

_With a knife in my hand, and the most devious plan._

_It would be quite grand, as the mail fell through the slot_

_The sharp edge he got._

_Oh, but I love the thought!_

I kept up a cute appearance outside, and only let my dark side show when it was necessary. People still stared and gave me looks. And a cat wasn't very lucky either.

_I deserve to be tied in a knot._

_Broken bones and blood clots._

After my sixth birthday, I decided to go out into the world. I went next door to my neighbors' house, and knocked on the door. Luckily, the neighbor's son answered the door. I gave him a nice, friendly smile and asked if he wanted to play some hide and seek. He said yes.

Sucker.

I nodded and led him away from the house. We went into the forest, deep into the forest. When we were God knows how far away from town, I told him to start counting. He did, and I ran. I figured out how to get out of the forest, and headed back home.

As planned, a missing persons report was filed the next day. My mother and neighbor got into a huge fight. My mother ended up slapping my neighbor and ending the fight there. I shuffled after my mother all innocent and cute.

_When I was six I used to trick_

_The next door neighbor's son, in the woods, we would run_

_Time for fun, hide and seek has a cost,_

_He would be forever lost,_

_Oh, but I love to scoff!_

Everyone still accused me of being the one who caused Jimmy (That was his name) to go missing. And hell, they weren't wrong. But my mother would have killed a man to clear my name. That woman kicked ass.

_I deserve to have my head lopped off,_

_Hidden and covered in moss,_

_Until this memory's forgot…_

At school wasn't any better. All the kids had their parents' words in their mouth and tried to convince me that I did it. Yeah, I know I did it. I just don't want anybody else knowing. My little secret.

_I am not a bad man, even though I do bad things._

_Very bad things._

_Such horrible things!_

_But it's not quite what it seems (Not quite what he seems)_

_Not quite what I seem_

_Ah, hell…_

They will all die one day anyway.

_It's exactly what it seems!_

Fast forward to eight years old and I am becoming more devious with every passing day. And as I roamed around my house, I noticed something.

It was fucking ugly. The color? Hideous beyond measure. So, I decided to make it better.

I ran into my room and grabbed my water gun. My mother was out for the day, and told me to be a good boy. Like hell I will. Not in a house like this. I ran over to the first outlet I saw and let the water do all the work.

I saw the sparks fly and the outlet short out. The carpet around started to catch on fire and I laughed out loud. I grabbed a match from on top of the fireplace and lit it up. I threw it on the floor and watched as the fire spread from the floor to the walls in a matter of seconds. I grinned and ran out of the house, grabbing my special bunny on the way out.

I watched from the outside as my house burned and crumbled. I screamed at the top of my lungs to get people to think that I needed help. I heard someone call the fire department and they were here in a few minutes. And so was my mother.

She ran out of the car and pulled me into a tight hug, whispering that she was glad that I was okay.

I could only grin.

_When I was eight, I used to hate_

_The color of my house_

_So as quiet as a mouse_

_I burned it down to the ground_

_When no one was around_

_Oh, but I loved the sound._

I probably should have thought out the whole "Burning down my house because I didn't like the color" thing, because we had to live in a motel until we could find a new house. My father started to become suspicious, and was constantly questioning me about if I did it. I would deny, and my mother would back me up. It always went well…

_I deserve to be quickly put down,_

_Rotting six feet underground._

Ten years old and in the fifth grade. We went on a field trip to the beach. All the kids were having fun in the water, and I decided to be a devious bastard. I ran out into the water, swimming out far. I knew the lifeguard would be watching, so I decided to put on a show.

I dragged myself under the water and pretended to be drowning. I put all the drama into it, too. The screaming, crying for help, and the gargling. I did that for a couple of minutes until the lifeguard came and grabbed me, bringing me back to shore. I would cough and gag until I could breathe again. The lifeguard would ask if I was okay, and I could only laugh.

_When I was ten, I use to pretend_

_To drown in the sea_

'_Till they come and rescue me._

_Then proceed to laugh in their face_

_Such a disgrace _

_Oh, but I love the taste!_

The teachers and lifeguards all made disgusted faces and walked away, leaving me there to chuckle. The kids around me scoffed and began making comments about how bad I was. Yeah, I know, thanks for reminding me. I laughed until my sides hurt.

_I deserve to have my brains displaced_

_All over the fireplace!_

_Until this life has been erased…_

Needless to say that I got a phone call home that day, and my mother was, what some people would call, angry. She demanded an explanation. And I gave her one.

I told her that I was practicing my drowning scene for the school play that we were putting on, since I was in drama club. And she believed it.

That women could be so easily swayed kit wasn't even funny. I could kill a man right in front of her eyes and still talk myself out of it.

_I am not a bad man, even though I do bad things_

_Very bad things_

_Such horrible things!_

_But it's not quite what It seems (Not quite what he seems)_

_Not quite what I seem_

_Ah, hell…_

Maybe I would do that one day.

_It's exactly what it seems!_

Being twelve and hated wasn't exactly the best way to start my 7th grade year. Everyone flagged me as the seventh grade psycho. They always thought that I would end up murdering everyone in the school.

Not a bad idea…

I ended up causing 4 of my teachers to retire at the age of 25 and another three to leave and not come back for a month. I have to say though, I have some good ideas.

Although I might have killed my biology teacher, that much is true. Give me a 90 on a test, will ya…

But home was the most fun. After finishing my homework, I decided to go outside and play. I walked to my backyard to find my sister sitting and reading. She saw me approaching and stood up.

"What do you want, Beyond?"

I smirked.

"What? I can't play with my very own sister? That's mean."

She sighed and rolled her eyes.

"I'm busy reading. And you kind of creep me out. Go away."

I gave her a toothy grin.

"Well I only wanted to play the gravity game! Don't you want to play?"

She closed her book.

"What the hell is the gravity game?"

I took a step closer.

"Well, you get to see how well gravity can be used to someone else's advantage."

She only had a second to respond before I pushed her down the well that lay beside her.

I heard her scream and the scream only became fainter and fainter until you couldn't hear it anymore.

I smiled.

"I love that game."

I walked back inside and told my mother what happened.

_When I was twelve I used to delve_

_Into evil schemes_

_Just to elicit screams_

_Boost my self-esteem_

_Pushed my sister down a well_

_She just fell_

_Oh, but I love to dwell!_

I obviously lied to my mother about what happened and we held a funeral for my sister, whose body was never found. I still loom around the well from time to time, reminding myself on how much I love the Gravity Game.

_I deserve to roast deep down in hell._

_Where no one can hear me yell._

The age of fourteen had to be the worst year ever. Nothing happened that would have given me an edge. Well, except for killing this girl's dog. That damn dog almost bit me. Deserved it. And the next day I got slapped in the face. Hehe…totally worth it…

_When I was fourteen!_

_*Sigh* Nothing much happened…_

_Well, there was that one time!_

The next year of my life went smoothly. I became the number one most feared person in my school, and my teachers did nothing but give me good grades, even if I failed on a test. Every time I asked a girl out, they would accept without question. Poor things.

What? You think I would rape them! You sick fuck! I may be a lot of things, but I am not a rapist. I have some morals, thank you.

Either way, I did end up murdering a man. That man happened to be my father. Hell, he had it coming.

_I am not a bad man, even though I do bad things_

_Very bad things_

_Such horrible things!_

_But it's not quite what it seems (Not quite what he seems)_

_Not quite what I seem_

_Ah, hell…_

Let's just say that I celebrated that night while my mother cried a waterfall one floor below me.

_It's exactly what it seems!_

Sixteen is the age of purity. You have gotten through half of your teenage years with good karma on your shoulders.

Now that's most people. If you're Beyond Birthday, you have gotten through your teenage years with blood on your shoulders.

Now by that point, I was already considered mentally insane. This I knew. But hell if I wasn't having too much fun.

Now for my brother. Ah, yes, my 'I-could-care-less-about-what-you-just-did' older brother, Sean.

After I managed to calm my mother down I decided to pay him a visit. He was in the backyard, staring out into the sunset. I joined him. Naturally, he scooted away from me. I put on a smile.

Then he asked me if I was the one that killed out father. Oh, Sean, you were about to go to college too. Such a shame. I denied and gave him as many convincing facts that I could.

The next day I spent in the backyard, when he came back there, he saw that I was digging a hole.

"Beyond? What are you doing?"

I looked at him.

"Oh! Hi Sean! I was just digging a hole because I felt something rumble underneath me and I thought that it was interesting! So I'm looking for it. Want to help?"

He shuffled over to me and looked into the hole.

"You're doing what? What did you hear?"

I got behind him.

"Well, in a few seconds, I'm about to hear your cries of mercy."

He turned around only to see my arm extend out in front of me and push him into the hole. He fell into it and yelped in pain. I immediately began to shovel the dirt back in. oh, the sounds he made. It only took a few minutes to cover up the hole. I got down on my knees and put my ear to the ground only to hear muffled screams, until they stopped.

I smirked and threw the shovel away. Bye bye Sean…

_When I was sixteen, life was frightening_

_My brother was quite dull_

_So with laughter in my skull_

_Pushed him in a hole and buried him alive_

_He barely survived_

_Oh, but I love the cries!_

I busted a gut that night as I laughed myself to sleep, watching as my mother screamed in agony as she found that Sean wasn't home the next morning. And she never suspected a thing…

_I deserve to be battered and fried_

_In an electric chair that's set on high_

You can go through 17 years of your life getting away with everything, but by the eighteenth year it all goes downhill. I let my soft side get a hold of and let a small detail slip about my brother, which led to my mother finding out that I killed him along with my sister and father. Now I thought that my mother would be awesome and forgive me, hide up the evidence and act like it never happened.

Boy was I wrong.

Bitch turned me in and now I sit in a padded cell with nothing but my mind to keep me company. And that bad boy left a while back. I get no phone calls, because I've got no one to call, except my mother, but she hates me. I just sit and stare at the wall…waiting…for what? Not sure…Death?

_Now that I am eighteen, I still hate things!_

_From this padded cell I call my home_

_No friends, no phone_

_No life to call my own…_

I guess the food is okay, though…

_Here I will lie_

_Until the very day I die_

_Until my blood begins to dry_

_And I return to the darkness from whence I came…_

I always wondered my I came out the way did…maybe it was planned?

_So…_

_I am not a bad man, even though I do bad things_

_Very bad things_

_Such horrible things!_

_But it's not quite what it seems_

_Not quite what I seem…_

_Ah, hell…_

Or maybe that was just my own devious little mind at work.

Hooray for you, Beyond Birthday…

_I'm exactly what I seem!_

**YES! Halloween FTFW!**

**Hope you all enjoyed and I'm sorry for making this late….I honestly got this idea today….and its 10:30 at night…and I'm tired. Zzzz…..**

**Review? Cuz I will give cookies!**

**-MailJeevasVGFTW (HELLZ YEAH HALLOWEEN!)**

**My vid to go with the fic :D**

**.com/watch?v=FgFLvB04p_Y  
**


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